Daphne & Simon

As I sat there, I watched a love story unfold,
Beautiful, innocent so much like my own
The naivete she held in her open palm 
As he interlocked his fingers and led her by the arm
Into a whirlwind of romance founded on camaraderie
So simple in its nature, deeper than the sea
She was lost in his gaze
Lost in his warmth
Lost in the wonder of their blossoming love

She found herself swept into the tumbling waves
Spinning, turning into the day of all days
The dreamt of moment from the dreams of little girls
To don the white gown of purity
To say “I do”
To be cherished and held in a delicate love
To enter happily ever after as they walk out the church doors

And that’s where the dream ends in the stories
Does it not?
It ends with a kiss and perhaps a promenade
I do not want to think of when they are alone
When he undoes her buttons, when his suit litters the ground
I feel my body tense as I anticipate her fear
As that dream shifts quickly into a living nightmare
I’m sure he will be gentle and kind, he’ll move slow
But nothing can prepare Innocence for what her eyes will behold
Rapture will turn to horror as the truth becomes clear
But she can go through the motions, hold at bay the tears
It is a shame that such a love story must come to this
That it must move from gentle touches and kisses to nakedness

And now here is the moment
The doors have been closed
She sits there before his manhood utterly alone
I look closely at her eyes for the telltale signs
Of disgust, dissociation, terror 
Yet instead I find
The hungry heat of desire, 
An appetite for more,
As her body follows without hesitation longing to explore
The body of her husband—powerful and beautiful in its glory
My eyes squeeze shut as I’m rammed by the weight of my story

I can hear the symphony of their erotic tension unleash
The crescendos and accelerandos
Their passionate piece
As I collapse into myself and lose my mind in the grief
Of all I have missed of the freedom stolen from me
I weep for my husband, living years without my desire
I weep for all the times his pursuit has been trumped by “I’m tired.”
My body shakes as I’m wracked with sobs 
Over the reality that a carefree, innocent love
Will forever be out of reach

And I sob

And I sob

My tears drench my shirt and his
For there is no resolution
Regardless of healing
There is no escaping this

A performance of “Daphne & Simon” as a spoken word poem